Ever since I held my daughter, Aadyasha, in my arms for the first time, the entire experience of fatherhood has been so blissful. After a hard day's work, when I return home and see my daughter smiling at me, the weariness of the day instantly vanishes. I clearly remember the day she was born, how nervous I was, when the hospital staff wheeled Ananya into the labour room and I waited outside. How anxiously I paced up and down the corridor, stopping in my tracks every few minutes outside the labour room when Ananya let out a scream. With her every shriek of pain, I too got more nervous. I was anxiously waiting outside for someone to come out and say to me that I had become a father, that I now had a baby boy or a baby girl. But the wait was getting unbearable with each passing second -- it was not easy at all, it's never easy for a first-time father-to-be. No doubt the anxieties and tensions of an expectant father is nothing compared to the varied emotions that a mother-to-be goes through when the child is in her womb but even the fathers-to-be experience no less range of emotions. In my case, I was really worried if I would actually prove to be a good father to my child or not. "Will I be a good father? Will he/she take me as a good friend? Will I be able to stand up to his/her expectations?", these questions continued to stress me all the while, even as I was waiting anxiously for the arrival of my baby.
Just then, my thoughts were broken by a wail. After a few minutes, the doors opened.
"Congratulations, Mr. Pattnaik. You have a daughter," the nurse declared, beaming with a smile.
"And how is my wife, Sister?", I asked.
"Oh, she is absolutely fine, you can go in now and meet your wife and your child", the nurse replied.
As I went in, another nurse handed over my daughter to me, she was wrapped up in a towel, her eyes hadn't opened yet, she looked so tiny... I was completely overcome with emotions, as I took my baby into my arms, I couldn't see anything else, I couldn't feel anything else. My world had suddenly changed. My tears wouldn't stop flowing, but they were actually tears of joy. Never before had I felt so emotional and so happy, all at the same time. Here I was, holding a part of me in my hands. And she looked every bit like a Goddess, that I could have ever imagined.
It's amazing how fatherhood changes a man. I am the same person who until a few years back, couldn't see anything beyond himself, the entire world seemed to revolve around me and my needs. And now I feel so overwhelmed by this emotional connection with my daughter that I am ready to make any sacrifice whatsoever, if I need to and I'm ready to go to any lengths to make sure that she remains safe and is smiling always. I remember, before fatherhood happened, how I used to get irritated on hearing a baby's cry but now they seem like music to my ears and make me feel emotional.
Now when I open my eyes and find my daughter all happy and smiling, the first thing in the morning, I feel blessed; my day gets the best possible start I could have ever wished for. There was a time when my office used to be my second home, I used to spend more hours there and only went back home when I needed to go to bed. Things did change quite a bit for the better, when I got married; I now had a strong reason to go back home after my office hours and not stay back. But ever since I have become a father, I just can't seem to wait for my office hours to end; I get impatient and am always looking for reasons to go home early. It's been almost a year now since my daughter was born. But I feel like she was born only yesterday! That day, not just one life was born, rather two lives were -- a father was born too!
"Is she still awake?", I ask Ananya, even as I literally dash to my daughter's room, not even waiting for her to answer.
"Yeah, she is awake, she was crying some time back, I tried to put her to sleep, but she wouldn't. You know her naa, she just wouldn't go to sleep unless she gets to hear you sing."
I see her lying on the bed, playing with herself. But as soon as she sees me in the room, she flashes her million dollar smile at me, as a welcome gift.
"Is Aadyasha happy to see her papa home, haan?"
She blabbers something which I fail to understand, but I love the way her eyes remain fixated on my face. Once again I see the love in them for me; the feeling is priceless, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
"Look, papa has come back," I say, as I take her into my arms.
"Look at this new papa, how impatient he is to cuddle his daughter. Oho, Amit, go and first change your clothes, freshen up a bit and then come back to your daughter. She isn't going anywhere, she is very much here to stay", Ananya says and starts laughing.
She continues with her mock anger, "You know, you are only spoiling your daughter, mind you. She has already become naughty like her father, she now doesn't go to sleep unless she hears the Nanhi pari lullaby, that too, she needs to hear it from you".
"You don't listen to her, Aadyasha, mamma is jealous. You don't like your mamma's singing? Don't listen to her. Your papa will sing you your favourite lullaby, okay".
Is she nodding in agreement? "Yes, my baby understands all that I say".
"Choti si pyaari si nanhi si, aayi koi Pari;
Bholi si nyaari si achi si, aayi koi Pari;
Paalne mein aise hi, jhoolti rahe;
Khushiyon ki baahaaron mein, jhoomti rahe;
Gaate muskuraatey, sangeet ki taraah;
Tu to lagey Rama ke geet ki taraah,
Raaraa ru, raa raa raa, Raaraa ru..."
(Lyricist: Sameer, Movie: Anari.. All copyrights rest with them)
Within minutes, my daughter falls asleep as I start singing the song. There is probably nothing more joyful and comforting an experience than watching your baby sleep, taking her tiny breaths. Now she will have a sound sleep all night, because she had been put on the Pampers dry pants by her mother, so she wouldn't have the wetness to disturb her sleep. These Pampers diapers are so much better than the other diapers. Not only on the outside but the
new Pampers Baby Dry Pants keeps dryness on the inside too, soaking up all wetness. Thank you
Pampers. It's because of you that my baby will wake up happy and with a smile, tomorrow morning.
"Papa..." she will call me one day... the mere thought gives me goose-flesh. I eagerly wait for that day to come, as I keep on looking at my sleeping beauty.