The other day while cleaning out our store room's cabinet, it was a pleasant surprise to stumble upon my old cardboard letter box containing several lovingly handwritten letters, postcards and envelopes from my grandparents, cousins and my school friends (some of whom I have long ago lost contact with). Most of the letters were dated between 2004 and 2011, while quite a few others dated all the way back to 1997 (a time when I used to regularly write and receive letters, at least three in a month)! At once, I felt myself immersed in nostalgia. There was this letter from my maternal grandfather in reply to my queries about Arjuna's son Babrubahana as well as about Barbarik from Mahabharata and he had given a detailed elucidation of the two mythological characters. Back in those days when I had no Google to look up information about Hindu mythological characters, I would seek answers from him; he was my encyclopedia.
Upon further combing through the contents in the letter box, I also found a letter from A (my bestie since junior school years). Co-incidentally it was his first ever letter to me - the one that he had written after we moved to different cities for our undergraduate studies. The way he had described his funny ragging interactions (mostly harmless, friendly banter) with his seniors during freshers' intro session on the first day at his college, and his hilarious replies to their awkward questions, sent me into peals of hysteria. I literally laughed until I cried. He has always been very witty who seldom fails to crack me up. And suddenly the childhood memory of A's hilarious imitation of Surendra Pal's (the guy who played the character of Guru Drona in B.R Chopra's Mahabharat) hand reflexes while shooting an arrow from his bow, came flooding back and I almost fell out of the sofa laughing. I can possibly never talk about my childhood memories without bringing him up because he is someone with whom I have shared some of the most unforgettable moments of my growing up years. I spent the entire afternoon unfolding and reading such letters over again, one by one and reminiscing about those days.
The most recent letter in that bunch was of August 2011, from my school friend M. Ours has been a friendship of close to three decades (27 years to be exact) and still counting. She wasn't that frequent in sending me letters like my other friends but come Raksha Bandhan and her Rakhi would definitely be accompanied by a long, three or four-page letter. I used to relish reading them over and over again. But this particular letter of August 2011 had come at a time when I was going through an incredibly painful phase in my life. I had fallen into a severe depression post my heartbreak and my emotions had started spiraling all over the place. This letter expressed her genuine concern for me - her worry about how I was neglecting self-care, in regard to healthy eating habits, good hygiene and keeping a tidy living space --
"I am worried about you, Amit. I came to know from S about how you have literally locked yourself at home and that you are not taking care of yourself. Please stop questioning your worth. It doesn't diminish just because someone couldn't recognize it or didn't acknowledge your feelings! And do you think skipping your meals or crying all day long is going to bring her back into your life? She is gone, she is now married. You too need to move on. It has been more than a year now, you need to get out of this. Try to get your mind off of all the memories that are holding you back. Relationships end. Heartbreaks happen. But life goes on... it has to. Give yourself the space you need to heal but cutting off everyone from your life is not the way to go. Instead, reach out to your parents or friends or whoever you trust and spend time with them. More importantly, please take care of your health! We all love you."
I remember how back then, being in a heightened emotional state, I had enclosed myself in a cocoon, trying to distance myself from everyone, thereby pushing away even my loved ones. And so even after reading her letter, I hadn't replied back. Now as I re-read it, I could clearly feel her affection and concern for me and feel grateful for having a friend who genuinely cares about me. That was when it occurred to me that it must have been more than five or probably six years since we sent each other a letter! I guess it was in 2015 when I had last written a letter to her.
Of course even to this day, she continues to send me Rakhis every year and we are in regular touch with each other over WhatsApp and through phone calls but her letters (those that used to accompany her Rakhi) are certainly conspicuous by their absence, over these last few years! I do understand that with time, everyone gets busy. Moreover I was the one responsible for breaking our chain of sending letters to each other. I got so busy in work that I just couldn't write as often as I would have liked to. And before we could realise, gradually letters had gotten completely replaced by occasional emails, phone calls and WhatsApp chats.
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A Handwritten Letter In Today's Digital Age |
So today I decided to rekindle our pen-and-paper correspondence by writing a letter to her once again. Given the nationwide lockdown in place right now for battling Covid-19, I am not sure about when I would be able to post the letter. But I still wanted to pen down my thoughts in the letter and so I did. To be frank, initially it did seem strange to write with a pen. After all, given the technological shift (with our over-reliance on computers and smartphones), nowadays almost nobody writes by hand that often anymore! Aren’t we typing more and more and writing lesser and lesser these days? In fact, other than scribbling out grocery lists for the market (that too once in a while), I hardly put pen onto paper because the keypad has now become my inseparable companion. And this has become like a norm with most of us.
Of course, to the youth of the current generation, this pen-and-paper communication might seem primitive. "In this era of instantaneous communication, where one can send a message (via internet) and get its reply in seconds, why should one bother to take up pen and paper?", they might wonder. Not surprisingly, therefore, handwritten letters have been on the list of endangered species for quite some time now. But for old timers like me, handwritten letters have always held a certain fascination, all the more so because they evoke a sense of being cared for. For us, this old-school means of communication is a labour of love. From taking the time to write, to choosing the right type of paper or a particular ink; from buying the stamps to selecting the envelope; to finally dropping the finished letter into the mail box, doesn't this effectively demonstrate that the sender chose to prioritize his relationship over his convenience? He/she could have easily sent a DM (direct message) on Facebook or WhatsApp or even an email instead, but he/she chose not to. Because he/she believes that the recipient is worth the extra effort! Needless to say, a handwritten letter therefore never fails to make an impression on me whenever I get one.
Sadly however, such occasions are now few and far between! Until a few years back, whenever any postal envelope arrived for me, the anticipation of getting a handwritten letter from an old friend or relative would cause a flutter of excitement in me. However, it would dissipate away soon after because the mail, more often than not, would turn out to be some utility bill statement or some other official letter. Gradually with the passage of time, I too stopped expecting a handwritten letter.
Let's face it, in today's increasingly digital age where most people have turned to video chats, social media, email or texting to convey their messages or information to their dear ones, the good old handwritten letter is on the verge of fading into oblivion. However, for someone who grew up in the pre-internet, pre-social media age, nothing can replace the charm of a handwritten letter, nor can its digital cousins (emails or chats or SMSes) ever replicate the therapeutic value of letter writing. Many of them, maybe even most, therefore still prefer writing letters by hand to convey their sentiments to their loved ones. Furthermore, the way a handwritten letter can make its recipient feel emotionally connected with the sender, I believe, no e-mail or chat or texts can. Chats and emails are certainly easier and faster to communicate back and forth but a handwritten letter shows the recipient that the sender is thoughtful and cares enough to go the extra mile, investing his/her time and effort, to make him/her (the recipient) feel loved and important. It also evidently shows that the sender cherishes the relationship! Take for instance, my friend M's handwritten letter of August 2011, during my time of emotional distress. Even though I hadn't replied back but I do remember how her letter had felt like a much-needed hug, sent with care and affection... just that little bit more real and thoughtful. This is what makes a handwritten letter emotionally effective in the eyes of many.
As for the matters of heart, which one is more romantic - a handwritten love letter or a digital love message?
Well, I believe, a handwritten love letter conveying heartfelt emotions is much more intimate and considerably more effective in communicating sentiments that might have been hard to say in person. And in my opinion,
the slow pace of this snail mail correspondence, in fact, adds to the romance between a couple! After sending a love letter, the anxious wait for its reply, the longing, the nervous imaginations, the many sleepless nights spent during the intervening period, they all actually heighten the eventual joy upon getting a response.
Remember the courtship days of old when we used to wait anxiously for the postman's arrival (at times, a common close friend would double up as one, secretly bringing to us our beloved's love letter)? Upon his arrival, how our hands would itch to grab the letter out of his hand before anyone else could intercept it from him! And then how we used to hide the envelope away until we could read it in private! Ah, who can forget that indescribable pleasure in reading and re-reading the letter, spending hours poring over the lines and appreciating every nicety of our beloved’s chosen words? I wonder whether the courting couples of the current generation, who prefer digital means of communication over the snail mail, can ever relate to this blissful experience.
Aren't these instantaneous digital modes of communication, in a way, killing the romance?
By the way, what would you prefer from your sweetheart? A love email? A Facebook/WhatsApp DM (direct message) that is often an abbreviated message, a la - "miss ya so much. let's meet l8r dis evening" accompanied by a red heart emoji ❤️? Or a handwritten love letter expressing exactly how she (or he) feels about you?
It's true that with the evolution of technology, our modes of communication too have evolved, which are now instantaneous and more convenient. And there is no denying either that with the various means of digital communication currently available, one is now able to communicate with friends and family more frequently than ever. Ironically however, because of this over-communication, our correspondence now often seems to lack energy, feels half-hearted and shallow! Relationships are the greatest assets that we have and I believe, handwritten letters are very effective in deepening the emotional closeness between two individuals.
Reading someone’s handwritten letter, who is far away, feels much more affectionate than a typed email or text-message. There is a certain warmth that one can feel in a handwritten letter. People simply don’t feel the same attachment to the typed words as they would feel to the handwritten words. That's the reason why, more often than not, we hold onto the handwritten old letters of our dear ones than we would do to these impalpable electronic correspondences. As for the letters from people who are no longer alive, they become even more precious, reminding us about the times we had spent with them.
So when was the last time you handwrote a letter, using pen and paper, or got one from someone significant in your life? Do you miss writing/receiving handwritten letters in this age of digital communication? Do you ever go back and read them? Or have you switched completely from writing to typing?
Why not set pen to paper once more?