Almost everyone would have felt fearful or anxious at one time or another. And some people are quite phobic about certain things, it could be water, heights, snakes, fire or something else. Haven't we heard or seen people devising ways so that they could somehow avoid getting near their fears? Fear can turn anyone into a prisoner of his/her own mind. If only we could all understand that it's nowhere but in our heads! And that fear can easily be overcome.
I too had quite a few phobias during my growing up years. I should in fact say that I used to be a chicken-hearted boy. I was often teased and made fun of by my friends (though good naturedly) because I would wimp out at the slightest hint of risk or trouble. There were times too when I had felt utterly worthless for I had failed myself on some occasions when I should have protested -- even though I was really angry over something that I felt was happening wrong. I was bullied too on certain occasions, even though I had wanted to fight back each time but I would only meekly surrender. I just couldn't muster enough courage to raise my voice against it and fight it out. I was always chained and gagged by my fear -- the fear that I would get hurt. Fear has this uncanny habit of gnawing away at one's spirits and ultimately his voice too. How I wish I hadn't remained silent!
But crises bring out the best and worst in people, isn't it?
The year was 1997 and the month was probably August. Monsoon had already arrived because heavy showers would invariably lash Delhi during the evenings. It had barely been two months since I had come over, after completing my tenth standard, to take coaching for the IIT entrance exam. I had taken admission at FIITJEE coaching institute in the evening batch and after the classes got over, I would walk up almost half a kilometre to the Green Park bus stop, instead of the more nearer Hauz Khas stop (for it was often secluded and the lily-livered that I was, I would hence conveniently avoid it). But that evening, since it had been drizzling for quite a while and the roads had already got flooded with the rain water, I thought it better to wait for my bus at the Hauz Khas stop. That there were already five or six men inside the bus-stop, made it easier for me to take that decision.
Even though a good fifteen minutes or so had passed by then, there was no sight of my bus yet. I had got bored of being confined to that bus-stop and having nothing to do, instead of being at my home. So I started looking around to acquaint myself with the surroundings. Just then, my eyes fell on two thugs who were harassing a poor young girl who had laid out her make-shift shop on the same pavement some twenty feet away to sell groundnuts. Though I couldn't hear them clearly because of the rain but I could make out that the thugs were drunk and that the girl was visibly scared. She was crying profusely and pleading to them to leave her alone but they wouldn't relent. I froze for a second.
By now, some of my fellow passengers in the bus-stop too had come to know of it and were now standing beside me but only to watch in the typical urban uninvolved (only mildly curious and hugely indifferent) fashion.
Just then, as the girl looked around in despair for help, my eyes met hers. I could now clearly hear her words. It was as though she was screaming silently in my head, "Please help me!". Those pleading eyes had already brew up a storm inside me. Suddenly I saw in her, a sister I had always longed for but never had. "What if she were my real sister? Would I have still remained silent?" I asked myself. I could now feel a scream grow within me until it reached a deafening proportion. And I could take it no longer silently. The anger inside me was too much to handle now, it had reached a gut-wrenching level. For some unknown reason, I had always been really scared of the drunken guys, their mere presence in my vicinity would send shivers down my spine but today it just didn't matter.
I almost ran towards those guys and even before they could turn, I had thrown a few blows at them using all my strength. They were taken by surprise. “Don't you ever harass her again or else I’ll get you put in jail. Run away if you love your lives,” I almost screamed on their faces. And they did run away. Because a few other men too had joined me by then. Obviously, I was scared but that was probably the first time when I had really fought hard with my fear and overcome it. I don't know where from had I got the strength to fight those demons in my head.
"Tum theek ho (Are you okay)?" I asked the girl. The silent appreciation that I got back from the girl as she smiled while wiping away her tears, was the best reward I could have ever got. I couldn't have been more satisfied.
Often it's the fear of getting hurt or getting into trouble that acts as the barrier... it manages to hold the good men back, turns them into mute spectators, even when they know that they need to act against the wrong-doers. What is needed of us to do is to shatter our self-imposed chains that we have put on ourselves out of fear, we need to confront our fears. Because as they say, "The wicked will continue to triumph till the good men do nothing". Just fight with your fears, you will see them melt away immediately.